Big Hearts, Little Souls

With the rise of social media, we are instantly informed about everything happening around the world and also feel somewhat powerless to do much about it. We wake up daily to news about deportations, raids, stripping of LGBTQ rights, massive funding and job cuts, global warming, the housing crisis, inflation…need I go on? And yet, we are still parents–making meals, doing drop offs, reading <insert your child’s current book obsession> over and over while your child repeatedly signs “more” (just me?). Uncertainty is a constant in life, and some seasons have more of it than others. It begs the question: How can we provide support and reassurance for our littles when we ourselves feel uncertain or anxious? 

Avoid lying. With the best of intentions, adults sometimes feel that hiding the truth about a big or worrisome event will cause less fear and anxiety in the children around them. The thing is, kids are naturally intuitive thanks to the evolutionary drive for connection as a means to get their needs met. Meaning that they are likely aware on some level that something feels off and they will be naturally curious about what that is. Try to provide them with some age appropriate context to satisfy their curiosity without overburdening them with information. How much information to share is going to depend on each individual child, family, and circumstance. When in doubt, allow the child to lead by opening a conversation and creating space for any questions that your child might have. Remember, you do not have to answer every question right away, you may find that taking some time to yourself to gather a response you feel comfortable offering may be beneficial. 

Limit information. Setting boundaries on the information that you and your child are consuming may be what is best for your family at any given time. We live in a world where we have so much information at our literal fingertips at any given moment of the day. While it is helpful to be in the know about current events, we also run the risk of overrunning our nervous systems with too much.

Lean into your community. Teach your littles about your personal and family values through action. Whether that means volunteering at a local organization, getting involved in a mutual aid group, donating through your local buy nothing group, or getting to know your neighbors. Surrounding yourself and your littles with people who have a shared vision can be empowering and help you to feel less alone. 

Highlight safety. Uncertainty makes most of us, kids included, feel worried or anxious. Rather than trying to minimize the experience by saying “it’s no big deal” or “that won’t happen,” try to acknowledge that the feeling and experience is big and that you will be there to ride the wave with them while doing everything in your power to keep them safe.